Inside or out? I'm just clueless

Choosing the RIGHT path ain't no easy for me. I've been struggling with myself and have been done a lot of thinking about my future. The question is, is this what I really want? Will I survive? I mean I still have option anyway. Still have. But then again, the option that I have is what makes me in dilemma for weeks and still going strong :S Ya Allah, istiqarah is the best thing to do for the time being.

I'm just torn in between to stay and follow the flow or to take the risk and ride the adventurous path that you could never imagine.


So as time goes by, the instinct has spoken. Well was that my mind? I mean you know it is impossible but you know IT IS POSSIBLE. There are pros and cons, always there and then. But I have plans for that. The only thing that matters will I survive and will there be no regret??

Oh my..

Tomorrow

Was busy settling down with some legal work. It seems so easy yet complicated. Why did I choose to be a lawyer again? Oh wait not yet a lawyer just about to pursue LLB for the next 4 years of my life. Interesting? .. I hope so. Tiring? Nahhh learning can never be tiring, I swear. Doing revision is. I mean your brain.. thus it will affect the parts of your body. Which is;

- The stomach

- The head

- The eyes

So moving on, I have been planning to write for God knows how many times. Blame the laziness of myself you can't never get through. Indeed. Posting some random quotes on Tumblr last few days, it is easy, everyone know it. Press the reblog button, there you go it appears on your Tumblr. Now I understand why Tumblr is the most genius creature in the world. Heh?

The daily routine

I am now a working girl (note that I'm not yet 19) so literally for now, I'm busy spending my time with office works. Kind of. In other words, I'm currently doing an internship for the sake of my own good.

You wanna know why? I gain experience, read a few bunch of cases that have on hold for years, I learnt what is Hibah, Wasiat, Faraid etc etc. Looking at the lawyers working their but off really scares me.

So here goes my daily routine:

9am-6pm > Work.

6pm-8-ishpm> Rest/Dinner/Shower/Maghrib/Isya'.

9pm-11.30pm> An episode of Running Man while having a cup of Hot Milo/Tea/Chocolate.

Do I look like I have a life now? Yes? No? The good thing is, I get off on the weekends which the two days I'm looking forward to every week.

p/s but in a way, I feel more productive than before. At least my brain works. Heh.

Bid farewell

One and half years. I guess it went fast, really fast.

Though sometimes I want it to end as soon as it couldbe. Well.. you tend to start appreciating things around when they are gone. It is just a small campus but it is enough for all of us to know each other well and create true friendships.

Surely, going to miss the people, the place, and the food.

The ending is just a new beginning, all hail up for degree life next! :)

#np Incubus - Love hurts

I should be doing my persuasive speech outline. Non other things may distract me but fb, twitter and playlist on my iTunes. I'm no good in multi-tasking, pretty sure on that. Of listening songs and writing? Err.. never went well. Bummer!

a month left before finals, and soon going to leave Kuantan for good. Many I repeat MANY great things happened here in Kuantan. Such a memorable experience of life. A year and a half, it was fast I think. Really fast. Gonna miss all of them soon. Classmates, debate-mates, lecturers, the campuses and also the place I'm living right now.

Will update more detail soon, I promise. Now, where were just now? *persuasive speech outline*

..been there, done that.

Sometimes it is so lame to be a daydreamer. In reality, nothing has changed. Because things are going to change/happen with our own pure effort. In the end, frust sendiri. I know how it feels. Been there, done that. But secretly you're praying and hoping one day it will become reality though you know the percentage for it to happen macam langit dengan bumi.

But I learnt from law of attraction, they said nothing is impossible. Wait.." Allah ada sebab kenapa Dia tak akan bagi apa yang kita nak, tapi Dia akan bagi apa yang kita perlu.." Which is true.

And there are certain cases whereby just a little things make you trigger to change for the better. Not a perfectionist but deep down still searching what is missing inside you. Though countless of times you've tried to be a better one, still.. no changes. Or maybe just for a day or two. Next day? Oh I'm back with my lifetime routine all over again. Bummer!

Which is why, based on my observations and experiments I found distractions and social influences play a major part of it. Pendirian kena teguh and when it is not teguh..nothing will change. Or maybe you have your do have a stand, but due to your soft kind heart you aren't able to say a word or do an act because you're afraid of losing something that you're not sure of. Trust me, been there done that. Wait.. still am.

Le sigh.

It sucks to know it is totally wrong to do such act but the fact is you can't do anything to stop it. Wait, I can. It just that I'm afraid. No I'm a coward I must say. Some people may have said:

"takpe muda lagi, you have a lot more time to change"

"takpe it just for a day, no more for tomorrow"

The word takpe may destroy everything. Because takpe is actually comforting yourself just for maybe a minute or a day. And because of takpe, you gain more sins than pahala. See? again, le sigh. You can't promise yourself to transform to be a better person in a day or even a year but once you start drowning to the old you, it's hard to start back from what you have started to change for the better path.

Jom kita sama-sama doa!

It's the matter of time, I'm coming back..

.. that is a promise.

Monolog

Ada ubi ada batas, lain hari boleh balas.

PS: I want GCB!

Rude.

Since the debate friendly match in Malacca has been cancled I'm spending my weekend doing what a good student should do ;

• 7 tutorial questions that need to be done.
• Finding examples for Global & Legal issues.
• Searching a suitable topic for general essay writing.
• Prepare slides for BEL342. (which I'm not looking forward to)

...this is just my second week of the 3rd semester. by the way, I'm now learning a basic concept of Contract law. It is.. complicated yet interesting.

Anyone knows what supranational institutions are?

Take it or leave.

I'm back in Kuantan for third semester of my foundation studies. Will be here for the next four months and hurrahh! farewell foundation baby, insyaallah.

Unfortunately, there were difficulties which I have gone through with flying colours :P Knowing that I ain't living inside campus was pretty..devastating. Indeed. Well that was when you don't know how is the new place look like. But throughout hours trying to blend in with the unfamiliar surrounding it was okay despite of "nak beli makanan jauh" issue can never be solved.

Oh and it's good to meet back with my roommates, debate mates and classmates after two months of holiday. You know you're being with awesome people when you're happy. They are very overwhelming. Alhamdulillah!

Since I'm now living outside campus there is no washing machine provided. You know what I mean, heh.

Leaving on a jet plane

Will be leaving Sban soon. Only God knows how much I'm going to miss home.Tho sometimes.. you hope you're anywhere else. Truth is, laying on the couch all day long is what you really want everyday.

... well at least it makes me happy. Since driving around Seremban for the past few days was stressful. Blame the jam. It. Was. Really. Bad. -.-"

pee-kaa-booo!

June / Red Velvet / Cable

Packed.

June is here! But.. there's nothing to look forward for this month. College will officially starts on 6th June.

On top of everything,

I misplaced my itouch usb port. Not happy.

And I have to make 25 Red Velvet cupcakes later!

isn't it right?

'consider what you think justice requires and decide accordingly. But never give your reasons; for your judgement will probably be right, but your reason will certainly be wrong.' - Lord Mansfield.

Dear bloggy,

I'm not happy with things I just heard from my friend.

Not complaining but I'm disappointed.

But, you know things happen for countless of reasons and you just don't know what are they until you know it. four months of torture madness soon will arrive and first thing pop in mind when I think about college is never plan to procrastinate. Which obviously, will be hard for a lazy bum homo sapiens like yours truly.

And I heard juniors have conquered Sekilau? :O This is way too much hah!

Of sunshine and thunderstorm

..many years and counting, gotta love them forever!

Yo Biebs!

I watched Justin Bieber NSN3D last weekend. I know the movie came out ages ago and I only had the time to watch it last saturday which for me it was...pretty good. They play with our emotions throughout the whole movie seeing a 14y kid growing up as a successful entertainer. I remember during 80s and 90s it was all about boy bands BackStreetBoys, Westlife etc. etc. (still loving 'em till now) but today it's YouTube sensation. You could find a star singing a cover song on YouTube with a guitar/piano.

Anyway, I have another week before my final semester starts and then after four months I'll be graduating for my foundation studies, amin. Time flies so fast and I know I don't have the time to hesitate. In September I ain't going anywhere that's for sure since none uni would accept my 1st&2nd semester results because I'm not officially done with foundation. Pretty frustrating, but anyway Allah knows what's best for me :)

So today Marea will come over to sban and sleepover at my house. Will be meeting Didah as well, better get ready and I'm off to go!

toohohonetwo

Things I look forward in 2012 :

• getting into Law school.
• Summer School.
• London.

I bet it's too early.. but who cares?

Lights

The royal wedding fever is still on..well at least for me.

I downloaded William & Kate the movie. I know boo me -.-"

knowing the whole story on how they first met and how everything get started over and over again is something you never get bored of. I really hope to know every single detail of it, just to indulge into their lives and how they handle things and hardships together. It seems very complicated but fun. Right?

anyway, college decided to extend our super long lost holidays for another one week.

and yes, I'm complaining. don't you think we gonna missed a one week of lecture and I'm pretty sure they won't think of replacing lectures or maybe extend it? well, NOT.

so the conclusion is, we might not have a week of 'do past years papers and discuss with lecturer in class' since lecturers will be busy catching up with syllabus and stuff :S

You know how it feels when you are having super long break and you forget how to make yourself busy? Yes I am the one..shoot me!

from Manhattan socialite to a mediator and school choir.

Not as addictive when I was in my second semester. there's no way Chuck will end with Blair because she's marrying a prince. But still.. I found GG is something you cannot missed watching even for an episode and I'm not blaming anyone but myself. Yes.

Fairly Legal? A series must watch because it is super duper awesome, no doubt. I'm looking forward for the second season which will be in 2012. Why it takes too long? :(

Finally, I have the feeling that Glee will come to an end. Third season please come out after I officially finish my final semester pretty please? With cherry on top? please please :S

I smell down under!

So here goes another exciting story of mine,

I'm proud with my girls for their outstanding results (Y). Well eventho we are pursuing in different fields but I just love the fact that up till now we share gazillion of stories together. I think that's how all girls school works. We got no boys in the group, which make us absolutely awesome! :)

And knowing the fact that Hana is flying soon made my day and of cause with the root beer and curly fries. No doubt, A&W is a perfect place to hang out with awesome people.

Therefore, planning a visit to Hana's place next year is a must! :D Gotta plan with the others and I. THINK. I. NEED. TO. START. SAVING for down under, hurrah!

.

So here goes my routine at home :

• baking.
• cooking.
• watch TV.
• re-read magazines and novels.
• going back and forth to the kitchen.
• non-stop eating.

Think I need to try to do something different tomorrow. Chilling out at some random coffee shop while enjoying Amartya Sen's with a cup of hot chocolate sounds nice. Hmmm.

Coz you are hot and I'm cold

Somewhere near Baylis Road, Spring 2011.

There are so many things to be grateful for. I repeat many things, but I'm pretty sure the mother earth is having trouble dealing with the climate change. Pity her. And all we do is non-stop complaining and cursing.I don't know how many degrees out there, but the heat is killing. I used to feel my house is in a state of moderate temperature surrounding, but not anymore. I was sweating when I watch Deadly Honeymoon with mum.

Addictive chips more, I want MORE!

Making cheese macoroni by myself is kind of activity I would love to do everyday. Okay correct that, I won't be eating mac&cheese everyday. But anyway, seeing the cheese melts in the milk.. is something I would rather call as cheese heaven! and then you mixed it with macoroni.. okay I feel hungry -.-"

Okay so here's the thing, I have approximately 20 days from today before I start my final semester. Just so you know, when I realized that I have about three weeks before college begin I have started to buy things for college. And the best part is, mainly it will be food. To be frank, I always have this kind of thoughts in me which things must have for college is food stock for the next four months. Tho I know, 20 packets of Milo 3in1 won't last for four months. Bummer. So the conclusion is, stationaries come second. Yeah, whatever.

On top of my endless babbling about things I can't live without.. well everyone cannot survive without food in case you loose track, I enjoyed reading Sunday Times very much. Which I never really enjoy reading it before or is it because today's sunday times they have marriage article in it? Okay KINDA attract me but anyways, I'm actually secretly building up a strong bond between me and newspapers as well with magazines. You see you gotta try before you jump into a mindless conclusion of yours. Yea know. Because this kind of good reads I don't think I'll be getting it once I'm back to Kuantan. You will not think of buying newspapers everyday at the 7eleven. That's for sho.

A girl can dream

• Open a bakery shop.
• Pianist.
• Getting involve in broadway/theatre.
• Singer/song writer.

Why they have different dates?

so this year, mom celebrates Mother's day twice. It was mother's day eve when we arrived in London. I wonder why they set different dates around the world?

So here goes my shout out to mama ;

Happy Mother's Day, Mak!

eventho for me..everyday is your day and you're the person that I can count on no matter what happen.

May you live in prosperity and Allah blessings :')

your apple pie rock my world same goes to your rock bun too.

You're the prettiest person on earth, and papa was lucky to marry you! HAHA

not to forget, you are the most awesome, sporting and coolest person ever, I'm grateful to have you.

p/s she has her on way how to make her children think that we are no good, we will keep learning.

Going down the memory lane

So, I was lucky when the minute parents decided to make a visit to their university after 35 years they also decided to bring me along and make a visit to London as well. yet the outside of London airport pretty much reminds me of New Zealand. That was the reason why my London spirit was rather late to absorb in my body. I know, lame. And when papa said, "we are in London Yan !" and my respond was far from enthusiasm. Plus, I went to Chancery Lane which have accidently switch on 'a law student mode' in me. The Law Society building, Lincoln's Inn, Kings College, Lexis Nexis and other Legal Bookstores.. it was nice. It was the highlight of my vacation despite from spending one whole day in Oxford street and got mad every time I stepped into H&M and Primark. You can get a cardigan for 5 pound, like seriously??!

and they(parents) also decided to bring me to Paris and I did some macarons haunting. Paris, the day when I arrived was gloomy and cold. And I blamed the black flats I'm wearing that caused freezing to the whole body of mine rather than wearing my brown boots. Bummer.

Oh and thanks to satnev for making our trip from Leeds and all the way down to north and back to Hitchin very smooth and easy. Kinda. Eventhough sometimes you're annoying and confusing. Plus papa was driving the same car like our own so it really feels like home during the roadtrip! Haha. And can you see the yellow car in the picture? That is Lotus sportcar and that is the major reason why we have this picture. Gotcha!

Surveying and..

daydreaming.

while I'm dying waiting to start my final semester/year of foundation studies I have secretly surveyed some university colleges that have offered what I want. Well I did that after papa asked me to do so. Yes I'm afraid of my daddy. and I thought it's about time for me to change the pattern of whats-happen-next to my future after my foundation rather than following the flow.

anyway, there are some universities that caught my attention. despite from having my hard time to know that not all UK universities want to accept my foundation results. Pretty sad kan? I know. So instead of imagining myself getting into King's College or LSE, Liverpool has caught my attention. *yes I'm daydreaming, indeed* spending my 2 years in the third largest city of England?

I know, too much ey?

on top of everything, I've also secretly plan what I'm going to do after I've graduated (this plan will only happen if I'm qualified into any UK universities). But as me being me, still in dilemma and unsure about my plan for the future and afraid of facing changes is hoping to secure a place in local universities.

*cross fingers*

Duke & Duchess of Cambridge

Sarah Burton did a magnificent job on Kate's wedding dress. It is simple yet very beautiful with the lace at top part of the dress. *jaw dropped

the Royal wedding was a fairy tale, and I bet everyone loves it! Oh dear Prince William you look better with hat :) You know what I mean? *double jerk

And while everyone was busy watching a changing life of a commoner to a princess, Sarah also wants to be a princess!

happy Royal wedding!

The city with red bus

all hail up for the Royal Wedding!

and I am suppose to be at Westminster Abbey witnessing the royal wedding by myself, unfortunately I'm not.

BUMMER!

Of blogging and tubmlr-ing

I have decided to start blogging again after a year abandoned my unknown blog. Which I have created ever since my high school days. Found it sometimes, pretty annoying. I have also changed my link address which from something abstract to something formal, which is actually my name on it.

So, I shall say Hello blogger world! Yes, I am back.

And to write often? I am not promising anything, have a good day :)